Moms' Cafe

When our children were very young we lived in a suburb of Washington DC in Northern Virginia. Often we would meet Daddy after work and stop at a fast food place for supper. Our children became VERY familiar with them. However, as our family grew to five children we decided that eating out was too expensive. The first time we chose to eat at home the children asked, "Where are we going to eat tonight?" And we answered, "At Mom's Cafe!" They were so excited to try a new place. Ha ha! We pulled into the driveway and they were totally puzzled. It only worked a few times before they caught on and didn't want to go to "Mom's Cafe". But we didn't care, we went anyway.

Hence, my kitchen became known as Mom's Cafe.

Fast forward many years and all the children are leaving home. They asked me to put together a cookbook with all the family favorites. I promised, worked on it a bit, procrastinated and promised some more. 

This summer I decided to get it done. 

Tah-Dah! (And yes, I'm inadvertently revealing my true identity, but hey, we're among friends here.)

Each child got a different colored book.

Each Section is labeled and on the other side (sorry no photo) is a list of recipes in the section.

On a few recipes I included photos.

The Housekeeping section is to remind them of what I taught them, plus a few things for grownups

such as defrosting a chest freezer and cleaning an oven.

That's a huge project completed and crossed off my list. Now on to some T-shirt quilts and photo albums. 

Oh my. I'm tired already!

Monday's Motivation

Excerpt from one of my all-time favorite General Conference addresses:

Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness. To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see Doctrine and Covenants 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.

Julie B. Beck, (at the time) Relief Society General President, October 2007

Wednesday's Wisdom

What to Do When You Can't Do What You Want to Do

Redecorating, refurbishing and remodeling all take some money, sometimes lots of money, regardless of what the optimistic magazine writers say. Plus it all takes time and energy. Often those three elements don't come together at the same time. I have money, but no time. I have energy, but no money. You know the scenarios.

So what does a homemaker do? What do we do when there isn't any money or time or energy for the big project I'm longing for?

1. Declutter - free up some space, uncover the horizontal surfaces, un-crowd the rooms. This alone can be a big spirit booster; especially at the end of a long winter when I'm struggling with cabin fever and Spring fever and whatever else ails me. 

How to: Let's pretend I want to improve the living room, the room where I receive guests. First, I stand at the door of the room and look at it critically, as if the guests will be arriving tomorrow and I want to make a good impression. I analyze the elements in the room, what makes it look crowded, what makes it look inviting, what could improve it (without spending any money). Second, pick up any trash from the floor, the tables, the mantel, the window sills, the bookcases, the . . . wherever it is. Trash is junk mail, candy wrappers, notices from the school, children's art or craft work (not the actual piece but the leftovers from making it), and anything else that needs to go into the trash bin. Third, put away anything that doesn't belong in the room: clothes, shoes, toys, dishes, games, sports equipment, etc. Fourth, can I take out anything, a table or chair, to make more room and help the room feel more spacious? Can I remove some of the permanent residents on the tables (end or coffee), the mantel, the window sills, to reduce the clutteredness of the room?  All of that is decluttering and costs nothing.

2. Clean - I find I can be more patient in waiting for redecoration if I keep the room clean. That means clearing out the cobwebs in the corners, dusting the ceiling fan blades and washing the light fixtures; washing the woodwork and moldings, dusting the furniture, sweeping or vacuuming the floors/carpets, shining the windows and mirrors, laundering the curtains, shaking out area rugs and spot cleaning the carpets. "A clean room is a happy room!" When a room is clean top to bottom it feels better, looks and smells better, and is easier to live in.

3. Rearrange - Can the furniture be moved around into a more pleasing arrangement? How about just another arrangement for variety and newness? Some people like to rearrange frequently, my mother was one. I'd come home from school and the living room would be completely different than when I left that morning. While my husband was in the Marine Corps he frequently rearranged his office, as in every other week (it seemed like!). Our daughter is very much that way too. She lives in the same apartment, behind my parent's home, that I lived in thirty-five years ago. Once I got my furniture in and arranged it stayed like that. Noble is always rearranging things, just for variety, I guess. Anyway, it is a way to have a new look without spending any money.

4. Shop in your own home - Can I swap a pair of lamps with another pair from a bedroom? Is there a bookcase or bureau or table that can be swapped from one room to another for a better look? Can I edit the artwork and photos on the wall to be more focused, more cohesive a grouping, more like a fine art gallery? What's hiding in my cupboards, drawers, totes, closets, basement, attic, spare room, etc. that could be put to use and brighten things up? Sometimes just one new thing can make a big difference in how we feel about our home. And new doesn't have to come from a store with a hefty price tag.

After doing all these steps I can live a while longer with my rooms, until the magical moment when time, money and energy come together and I get the room I see in my dreams! It really does happen.

Making a Home and Housekeeping

From Home Comforts, The Art & Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson:

What really does work to increase the feeling of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping. Housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel in your home. Whether you live alone or with a spouse, parents, and ten children, it is your housekeeping that makes your home alive, that turns it into a small society in its own right, a vital place with its own ways and rhythms, the place where you can be more yourself than you can be anywhere else.

It is not in goods that the contemporary household is poor, but in comfort and care.

 

Friday's Frugal Roundup

I’ve been keeping track of my frugal accomplishments, or the things I’ve done this week (actually the past two weeks) to spend less, not spend at all, or otherwise save money. In no particular order here goes.

Gave TopDad a haircut

Fixed a pair of reading glasses (the arm had fallen off and the hinge was tricky!)

Turned down the heat

Found three future birthday presents at the thrift store (can’t show or tell because the recipients read the blog)

Ground wheat, baked five loaves of bread and made a quadruple batch of cookies.

Froze six bananas that were overripe to use in smoothies

Ate out only once! (TopDad likes to eat out more than I do)

Used up all the leftovers, didn’t waste any food

On sunny days opened all the blinds and curtains to let the sun warm the house

Turned the laundry detergent bottle upside down to drain the last of it, then rinsed it out to get the very last of it for another load; did the same with the dishwashing soap (or detergent)

Some frugal things are so habitual for me that I don’t even think about them, such as measuring dish detergent instead of simply squirting it in the sink; or squeezing the toothpaste tube for a week past when I think it is all gone, then cutting it open and using the very last dregs; drinking tap water instead of bottled; using a silicone spatula to get all the food out of a pan, bowl or container; turning off lights when I leave a room.

I like to read what other people do because there is always some new trick to learn. 

What did you do to save money this week?

What's in a name?

Do you call yourself a housewife or a homemaker?

As I was thinking about the title “housewife”, into my head came the question, is there an officewife? Or a barnwife? Maybe there’s a yardwife. I personally don’t like “housewife” and always refer to myself as a homemaker. That’s because I think of myself as the maker of a home.

 I’m the one who opens all the curtains and blinds in the morning, letting the wonderful sunshine spill in and warm our home; and the one who closes all the same at sunset to hold in the warmth and shut out the darkness. I’m the one who tidies up and puts a tablecloth on before setting the table for a meal. I’m the one who moves the furniture into the most pleasing and inviting arrangement; puts up artwork and family photos, makes sure that there are several afghans or throws on the couch and chair for wrapping up in when it feels chilly. I’m the one who sees to it that there are toiletries in the bathroom, supplies in the laundry room and clean sheets and towels available at all times. In other words, I make our home livable, welcoming, and lovely.

Rozy the Homemaker (ca. 2012)

I was a homemaker before I ever got married. The small one bedroom apartment I lived in was my refuge and haven. I made it as lovely and welcoming as I could. I have very happy memories of my three years there.

Not everyone is born with the same inclinations I have. Some women despise staying at home and thrive in a career in an office of some kind. Not me! I believe I’m in the right career and consider it as such. I enjoy taking care of a husband, home and family. We’ve bought several homes over the course of our marriage (you do that with a military husband, in fact I joke about having married under a wandering star!) and during the loan application process when asked if I work, I simply answer, “Yes, but I don’t earn any income.” Some people understand, others give me odd looks and require an explanation. I really dislike that question, “Do you work?” No, I lounge on the couch watching movies eating chocolates. Of course I work, all day, every day, all year long! (Well, not really, but you know what I mean.)

Living in Iowa we get LOTS of political survey calls; when they get to the question of employer or employment, I just say “I’m a homemaker.” They have to figure out how to categorize that because it’s not one of the choices.

I also like the biblical term, from Titus 2:5 “keepers at home” as it seems to be another way to say homemaker.

So, how do you describe yourself?

P.S. Of course I realize that there are many women who would choose to be a full-time homemaker, but circumstances prevent that choice. I honor women who both earn the living, and make the living worthwhile for themselves and their families. They do so much more than I do and my hat's off to them.

Orphan Socks

How I Solved the Mystery of the Missing Socks

I do laundry differently than just about everyone I've talked to or read about. Everyone in our family has enough underwear, including socks, to last up to ten days. Once a week I wash clothes by people--in other words, I do all of my laundry together on one day, my husband's laundry another day, our children's laundry a third day. I don't gather up all the whites every day and do a load, that involves to much time consuming sorting at the end. I know that when I pull laundry out of the dryer I can take it all into the bedroom of the owner, fold it and put it away quickly. I combine children's laundry as necessary; and when Noble lived at home I did mine and hers together. I do laundry only three or four days each week, two to five loads a day depending on whose I'm doing. I combine some things when I need to, for instance I have only one pair of jeans which I wash when I'm doing my husband's jeans.

Years ago, when I had four little boys at home, I set out to discover why there seemed to be missing socks in every load. I refused to believe that the washer or dryer "ate" them. To solve the mystery I gathered up the boys laundry and mated the socks BEFORE they went into the washer. If any didn't have a mate, I searched until I found it. They hid under beds, under or behind dressers and nightstands, between the sheets of the bed, in closets, and toys boxes. (You know how messy children can be!) After a few months of this I reasoned that no socks were ever lost in the washer or dryer. After I went through that exercise I stopped mating the socks before and set up a small basket near the dryer; when sorting and folding dry laundry I put any orphans in the basket until there are a bunch at which time I mate them up and put them away. Problem solved.

Another thing that helps is that I buy the boys different brands of socks so that I know whose is whose. (Is that grammatically correct? Or just colloquially correct?)

The AHA! Moment; OR When the light finally comes on

The Tightwad Gazette was published from about 1990 to 1996 and helped educated a whole lot of people about being frugal. I was an early subscriber and one of those learners. Learning is an fluid process, rising and falling as our needs change and our understanding increases. Here's a funny example.

I don't remember why or how I got started using a square of wax paper to grease baking pans, but that's what I used. In an issue of The Tightwad Gazette someone mentioned using the wrapper from a cube of butter (or margarine) and I thought they meant that there was enough butter left on the wrapper to use in greasing a pan. I tried it and finding it didn't work indignantly shouted, as if they could hear me, "This doesn't work! There isn't enough butter on here to do anything." And I went back to using a square of wax paper. A few years later I was pulling off the wax paper from the roll and the idea hit me like a ton of bricks "Duh, using the wrapper from the butter saves on using up my wax paper!!! Of course you have to put more butter on it, it was saving the paper part you didn't understand." I felt about an inch tall for being so dense.

Ever have those moments? That's why I like to read other's blogs and books even though I do lots of frugal things, I don't know it all and I can learn something new to add to my bag of tricks. You can see some of my favorite sites right over there------------------------------------------------>.