This year I'm not writing a novel or work of fiction, but am doing a "memoir" of my efforts to change habits and lose weight and become physically fit. I began a day late but have managed to catch up to where I should be, word-count wise, to finish by the end of the month.
Yes, I'm still busy,but having a deadline is actually helping me to focus and get more done. I decided to share what I'm writing here so you can enjoy, get a laugh out of, or be disgusted, as the case may be, with my efforts.
The Light of a New
Day
A Journal of Change
and Discovery
Chapter One
The Beginning, A Very Good Place to Start
I
read somewhere that those persons who are most successful at losing weight are
alike in one important thing; that thing being a firm commitment to change no matter
what.
I
have tried numerous times to change habits and lose weight but have not been
successful. Perhaps if I keep a journal of my journey in excruciating detail I
will have a better chance of keeping my commitment to change eating habits and
patterns, and adding regular exercise to my days in the form of cardio,
strength training, and flexibility or stretching.
I
know basically what to do, it is a matter of choosing to do it consistently,
regularly, dependably, and whatever other adverb works in this context.
Yesterday
was the first of November and I had moments of doing well and moments of doing
poorly. I started the day fasting as it was the first Sunday of the month. I
have not participated in a true fast for a long time and was not prepared to do
so yesterday so I just skipped breakfast, but did take my aspirin, garlic and
Omegas in the morning. After church I opted to have a “cutie” Clementine as a
snack while preparing lunch. That felt pretty good. Lunch was leftover roast,
boiled red potatoes, with gravy, and steamed broccoli. At least half of my
plate was the broccoli so I did well there except I drizzled gravy on it
instead of eating it plain. It was a little undercooked for my taste, but Steve
likes vegetables crisp rather than soft.
After
lunch I fell off the wagon and ate three double stuffed Oreos, left by James;
and over the course of the day and evening a whole bunch (I did not count them)
of mini boxes of Milk Duds left over from Halloween. Along the way I also scarfed down a bowl of
chocolate ice cream, while sitting on the couch watching the movie, The Ultimate
Gift. So much for exercise, my elbows sure got a work out, but nothing else.
Of
course, it was Sunday and I do not usually exercise on the Sabbath, except
perhaps a short walk with Steve occasionally. The weather was beautiful, but he
had gone to school to work on some projects there.
One
of the difficulties I regularly encounter is the difference in needs, tastes,
and desires for food between Steve and I, and our children. Steve is not
interested in eating less meat, and more vegetables. He will not eat lentils,
or plain beans. His plate is two thirds meat and potatoes, and less than one
third vegetables. So I either have to make two meals or adjust the serving
portions to suit my needs. Neither option is optimal. Making two meals is more
work; adjusting portions is more temptation. I have yet to find a balance point
between those two options.
Other
than the one meal all I ate yesterday was sweet carbohydrates. Not the optimal
choices.
The
other factor in my desire to change is the desire to be frugal. This morning
for breakfast I served the rest of the bagels and cream cheese in an effort to
use them up before they go bad. I cooked the last two slices of bacon and
served them to Steve and Dan. But I had a whole bagel instead of just a half. I
peeled and served a cutie to both Steve and I for a small serving of fruit with
breakfast.
I
had purchased bananas last week for Dan to eat, as it is one of the few fruits
that he likes, but he has not eaten any and I will have to use them up in
banana bread this week which means more temptation for me unless I give it all
away.
On
a positive note I have not bought any chips, either potato or corn or tortilla.
When they are in the house they are a constant temptation to me because they
are fast and easy to grab and eat. I need to concentrate on preparing
vegetables and salads to eat rather than relying on fast junk food. When I do take
the time to make a salad I am rewarded with great taste, texture and fullness
without the calories.
I
know I need to make a meal plan and stick to it. Planning meals in advance
takes time initially, but uses less time because I do not have to think about
what to fix when it is time to prepare a meal. I can simply look at the menu
plan and get to work. Sticking to it is a bit more difficult as my emotions ebb
towards the end of the day and I do not “feel” like putting in a lot of effort.
However, I must remember that I want to save money as well as lose weight to be
healthy. Planning meals and sticking to the plan will go a long way to
achieving my goals.
Yesterday
I weighed in at one hundred, ninety-eight pounds. YUCK! That is seventy-three
pounds more than I weighed on my wedding day. And sixty pounds heavier than I
was at my slimmest after all my children were born. I am ashamed to say that it
is more than I ever weighed during any of my five pregnancies. I am not meant
to be this heavy. It is uncomfortable; I do not fit my clothes; I do not look
attractive; I am not fit and healthy. I must change if I am to reach my goal of
being an attractive, fit and healthy woman, wife, mother, and grandmother. (Not
that I am a grandmother yet, but I want to be ready.)
Last
month I attempted to change habits but was not successful. I want to make
another attempt this month and document, in excruciating detail, my efforts.
This
morning I threw away the last of the Milk Duds; in the large trash can on the
back porch where they will stay until taken away on Wednesday.
My
plan for exercising today is to rake leaves this afternoon. That should be a
good workout for my shoulders, arms, pectorals, as well as my back and waist.
When
I return from my errand to Des Moines I will make a menu plan for the week,
including lunches for me. I will make a brief mental inventory of the available
foods in the freezer, pantry and fridge, then choose the meals based on what we
have in the house. My other goal this month is to be frugal, and provident by
using what I have available without going to the store.
Later
–
I
agonized for a few moments other whether to take something with me to eat or to
buy something while out and about. Goal keeping won out and I took an apple
sliced, six Ritz crackers, with six slices of hot pepper jack cheese, plus two
bottles of water. It was plenty and I stuck to both of my goals.
However,
I was so tired upon arrival at home that I chose to use the emergency pizza in
the freezer for dinner for Steve and me. It was a supreme pizza anyway, which
no one else eats, without picking things off of it.
I
can say also that driving long distances gives the illusion of activity, but
simply sitting in a car is not exercise. And the few trips carrying groceries
in from the car to the kitchen does not exactly qualify as vigorous exercise
either, although it is better than nothing, just barely. I used my tiredness as
an excuse to not get outside and rake the leaves, however, tomorrow is forecast
to be another gorgeous autumn day so I can get out there and do it.
After
I took Dan to work I sat at the computer catching up on emails and such eating
a handful of Sunsweet Prunes. These satisfy my sweet tooth while giving me some
nutrition and fiber. I enjoy them!
I
have a vision in my mind of what I want to look like. My arms hang straight at
my sides, my waist is smooth and visible, while my hips are not wider than my
shoulders. My upper arms are firm and
tapering from shoulder to elbow; my thighs do not rub, and my knees and ankles
are trim and shapely. My behind is not a shelf and clothes hang neatly from
shoulder to hemline. I have energy and endurance. I can rise from sitting
without assistance or grunting. I can kneel gracefully for prayer. I can bend
at the waist to tie my shoes without feeling squashed or my head denied of
blood. Necklaces hang gracefully around my neck, my face is sculpted and
youthful. I do not mind looking my age as long as I look fit and healthy. I
know my skin will not look like it did during my twenties, but I have taken
fairly good care of it and many people think I am younger than my age.
I
have a wonderful wardrobe of gorgeous clothes just waiting for me to slim down
and get into them. Many of these lovelies are linen, my favorite fabric;
several are corduroy, a favorite of mine for winter. I will not have to buy new
clothes if I can be faithful and diligent in eating healthfully and exercising
regularly. I want to get back into my beautiful temple dress. The polyester muumuu
I was given is serviceable but ugly. My cotton embroidered dress is lovely and I want to wear it again.
Each
day is a new day. Each day I can do better than the day before. Each day I WILL
do better than the day before. My patriarchal blessing admonishes me to keep
the Word of Wisdom. I will endeavor to do so by increasing my intake of
vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, while decreasing or limiting my intake of
meats. I will measure portions, eliminate sugary treats, eat mindfully and
exercise regularly.
Sunday
morning I woke up to sunshine through the window, and the phrase “the light of
a new day” in my mind. I thought about the appropriateness of a new month, the
change back to standard time, and another chance to begin again. What a
blessing to be able to repent of past mistakes, and move forward with a clean
slate.
