I Gots the Front Porch Blues

For my entire, I'm talking my whole life, I've wanted a big front porch. I dreamed of it, planned on it, had it on every list I ever made for my dream home, and begged for one. I finally got one. The house my husband bought for us in Iowa (2010) has a wonderful, lovely, perfect front porch. I LOVE it. Except.

Except for the creeps who live next door and also have a front porch and spend most of the time out there smoking their noxious weeds, spewing forth obscenities and generally making nuisances of themselves.

The prevailing wind blows from the south, the creeps are south of us, of course. We tried a bamboo shade but the wind took it out.  Bushes take too long to grow, although I have plans to plant some anyway. Industrial sized fans are too expensive for my meager budget (although that is what I really want so I can blow the stench back at them).

So. . . as the weather warms up and I long to get outside and sit on my lovely porch to enjoy the sunset I'm forced to stay inside with the windows on the south side of the house tightly shut.

The house we're moving into, on the other side of us doesn't have a front porch. Natch.
It's not fair and that's why I gots the front porch blues.